HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY BRO~!!

had dinner together with my mother and bro.

had steamboat at of eunos corner.

(:

yeah.

i finally got my leave.

hees.

not going overseas.

staying in singapore.

hey its better den nth le lor!!

i hope i will make full use of my leave.

and next thus is my graduation ceremony le.

omg~

excited and looking forward.

hees.

just bcoz its my graduation ceremony.

i wana take alot of photos~!!

so i will be getting a digi cam soon.

glad tat i got candice working at those line.

got her to intro me.

and i will get it b4 GST increase to 7%~!!

lols.

so which means tat i will get it b4 sat!!

happie leh~

den my pocket will have a big hole.

hmm den my next aim.

SE hp?

guess handbag?

baby-G watch?

lalala~

see how ba.

=p

hmm.

somehow i felt better and happier aft i told him off.

but somehow i felt guilty too.

how?

now i hope i can carry on with my simple life.

bless me ba my friends~

(:

see see tats my new hairstyle.

hees.

how is it?

=p

back from macpherson kopitiam.

yup met up dolly for our frog.

tat we did not get to eat it ytd!!

lols.

we had egg oyster.

and dessert.

dolly had strawberry kisses.

and mine is mango milk ice.

well think we are crazy ba.

everyday meet up for supper.

omg~

weight going up liao.

but ppl say i slim down le leh.

despite all my supper.

lalala~

very sad and angry lor.

hais.

its alright tat u dont let me resign.

coz of u.

i rejected a job interview.

coz u say u can secure a higher post for me.

and now.

i wana take leave u oso dont allow.

wth is this man.

hey.

im a human too lor for u godness sake!

since i finish sch.

which is on 16feb.

i went for my cny holidays.

and start work till now.

it had been almost 5mths le.

working everyday with 1 off day per week.

and now i onli request to go off for 4 off days.

and u are making so much noise.

of coz i wana make a big fuss tat parkway star can on leave for 2weeks.

while mine is onli tat freaking 4days!!

u are lucky tat my genting trip is cancelled.

if not.

i bought the tix le

i seriously dont give a damn how u going to stop me from going.

even though u pay me twice of the tix money i oso dont care.

i need my rest.

i need my holiday.

poor suet~

poor me~

hais~

yup i told him off le.

hope i wont have anymore problems to add on my stressness le.

coz im damn stress lor.

argh~

-_-

back home.

we did not had our frog porridge.

coz candice say is too far.

-_-

ya den ended up we slack at the same old mac.

haas.

no frog porridge.

den we had 4 large fries.

omg~

jinlong did msg me on mon asking me abt uni entry stuffs.

i onli realise his msg until just now when i was deleting my inbox.

blur me~

sorry cheyenne.

other den sorry.

i dunno wat else to say le.

i think its better for u not to waste time on me ba.

on the other hand.

i dont think u are my type ba.

i noe these words are hurting.

im really sorry.

i dont wish to hurt u.

coz i noe the feeling of getting hurt is terrible.

im really SORRY~

i tot i had already let go.

but den i realise i have not.

i still cant let go of the past.

yup i noe im silly.

i noe im stubborn.

looking back at the past.

i still can cry for u.

hais.

i dont understand y guys can just change overnight.

i still can rmb the past clearly.

the first day i met u.

the song u sang at the pub.

the first msg u sent me.

they way u looked disappointed when u heard ppl wana noe me.

the way u hold my hands.

the way u looked aft holding my hand.

the words u said aft holding my hand.

the way u look shy.

the promises u made.

the words u said to me.

the effort u made to meet me up although u are busy with ur work.

hais.

all these are still so clear in my mind.

im here thinking so much.

but u on the other side?

i doubt so ba.

perhaps u already forget who am i?

thanks for ignoring my msg.

kinda disappointed ba.

tot we still can be friends.

tats wat u told me.

but..

well~

i still hope to hear from u soon.

(:

yup i may look alright.

but when im emo.

always they are there with me.

they are the ones tat always see me cry.

now~

i really dunno how to go on with my life.

OH MY GOD~!!

suet is going CRAZY soon ok~!!

yup tats me!!

im going crazy soon~!!

i guess i think i assume i predict tat cheyenne is going crazy abt le ba.

his craziness is unbelivable.

abit too over le ba.

making me feel so damn scary lor.

if i noe i dont online.

if i dont online den i wont sign on to msn.

if i nv sign on to msn den i wont see his nick.

if i nv see his nick den i wont go crazy.

and now im crazy le.

HOW?!

WAT CAN I DO?!

and.. dolly~

u reach home u off ur phone de ah.

y when i reach home i msg u but seems like u cant receive de.

well morning when u read the msg pls dont be shock.

but i noe u will be lah ah.

hais i dunno wat to do lah.

will talk abt it tonight ba~

yup today's my off day.

tot no plan with friends.

so i carry on with my hair saloon plan.

trimed my hair.

but not shorter.

coz im waiting for my hair to be longer and perm it~!!

hees.

yeah i REBOND my FRINGE le hor.

so.. jies~

esp IRIS but i noe she wont read this.

dont talk abt my fringe anymore liao hor.

lalala~

wana see how is it right.

no pic at this moment.

but i got one pic with dolly.

will show it to u all when she send me.

but i dunno when lah ah.

well its better for u all to meet me up at talk a look.

lols!

ya lor.

when ah?

i oso dunno.

plan ah.

one day come out for dinner.

to those who always mia de.

u noe who u are lah ah.

no need to name u all.

=p

miss u all lah.

u all nv miss me and the rest who turn up for gatherings de meh.

so bad de leh u all.

=(

hmm ya aft i went to saloon.

went to toa payoh to meet ayu.

tot of waiting for nina to finish work and see whether got plan to go out or not.

ended up she say she tired aft work.

so well ayu went home.

and i called up dolly for our fries session lor.

lols.

lisa rushing project.

candice at ecp.

so still the 2 of us lor.

chat till 12plus.

wana go off liao.

den.. raining cats and dogs.

sians.

waited awhile for cab.

den i reach home.

tats when i became crazy.

ya tats wat u read in the beginning.

-_-

ohh ya.

ganjiong called me wor~!!

so damn shock tat he will call me.

had not been contacting him and the rest of those guys since graduate.

ya those poly guys lor.

except for jinlong ba.

tat time was talking abt uni stuffs.

aft tat oso no contact liao.

ya.

when he call.

i ans.

he say 'hello ah lian ah'

i was like huh 'who are u'

den he say 'im ganjiong lah'

'ohh ganjiong ah si mi tai ji'

lols.

yup.

so long nv contact until they always call me ah lian i oso nearly forget liao.

haa.

chatted with him abt half an hr lor.

talk abt him.

talk abt me.

talk abt the rest of the guys lor.

well all of them not going to graduation.

so bored.

haas.

nvm i got my airen.

hee.

=p

ya talked abt those guys.

they are doing well now.

zhao - working for auntie like 'dog'.. so damn busy.. waiting for ns on sept

norman - ns liao. serving the nation

philip - found a job liao. quite a good job though

jason - reservist. serving the nation

edwin - ns too ba. not very sure

jinlong - happily with the gf. working at gf's dad's company. tats wat he told me previously.

well who else?

think tats the gang tat we always hang ard with ba.

yup take care guys.

hope to meet up soon.

(:

well meeting up my crazy 5 girls tonight for a catch up session.

but its always short of 1 de lah.

its always shanyun.

coz she's not the kind of having night life unlike the 4 of us.

yup its had been quite some time the 4 of us sit down and have a good chat le.

really looking forward for tonight's meet up.

(:

well im worried abt u too.

afterall u are my friend.

since i regard u as my friend.

i really hope tat u are alright.

take care okie?

(:

well.

work.

work.

work.

just came back supper with with nina and ayu.

ya later is my off day.

till now still no plans.

if not i think i might be going to saloon ba.

next week my graduation liao.

hee.

=p

planned to go saloon last monday de.

but went to airport to sent ahmad off.

den went back nyp to collect my graduation suit.

den went to see doctor as i was sick like nobody business.

lols.

den lastly met up for june's bdae.

busy dae.

haa.

hmm yup last fri met up dolly and friends at vivo to slack.

my emo session.

=x

den aft vivo dolly and me went for supper.

yummy frog porridge.

and my sudden cravings for oyster.

lols.

and we met 1 crazy woman tat made me SO FED UP.

haha.

den we walked home.

coz we at macpherson nia.

not tat really far.

its a form of exercise too.

aft eating.

wahaha~

well as i had decided wat i wana do next.

den..

faridah dont allow me resign.

sounds ridiculous right?

hais.

wat can i do?

hais.

y am i stressing over things tat im not suppose to stress abt.

y am i crying over stuffs tat im silly to cry for.

hais.

i dunno wat else i can say abt me.

im just finding trouble for myself?

perhaps ba.

just came back from hung ming bdae chalet.

yup real great~!!

meeting up with all those bartleyans.

he sae till like got ALOT of ppl.

ended up is oso tat few.

lols.

real fun.

the fun tat i cant get from elsewhere.

wee loon hung ming the joker the lamer.

the lame jokes we all used to have.

well if wana enjoys their lame jokes hafta enjoy it now.

if not when they go into ns.

aft ns i dont think the guys will be as lame as before le.

haha.

well lastly thanks loon for the ride back.

(:

first day went back to work aft my sickness.

still feel abit blur.

well mayb coz of my medicine made me drowsy.

hmm.

aft this sickness.

rested for 2 days.

the more i think i need a break.

when can i have my break?

when can i have my holidays?

im seriously tired.

mentally tired.

hais.

and one more thing.

cheyenne is making more stress day by day.

well i just take it easy.

i need time.

i really need more time.

i really cant make myself to believe in relationship.

basically all guys sux.

hmm mayb i cant 'one stick hit whole ship ppl' (DIRECT chinese translation. LOL)

but well wat to do.

all the guys i met are all the ones kena hit.

so how am i going to believe guys?

hmm so cheyenne if u think u can wait u just wait.

if not u can just let go.

(:

i miss my crazy five girls badly~!!

not only just meet dolly for a drink.

i wana meet dolly and lisa and candice and shanyun~!!

the laughter we had rocks the whole orchard road.

lols.

our endless topics of chattings.

really.

i miss u girls.

meet up soon k?

(:

hmm.

had been sick for a couple of days.

3 days of mc.

even though im sick.

i did not miss out my june san jie's bdae celebration.

(:

the remaining 2days i stayed at home and rest.

yup i missed out this year's crew outing.

lots of reasons behind it.

hais.

forget it.

its just a soeul garden.

wat he said to me is real or fake?

am i suppose to believe him?

yup i had somehow decided.

its time for me to have a new job.

new environment.

staying wherever i am dont seem like any bright future for me.

as for my stubborns thinkings i used to have.

i will try to overcome them.

wat am i going to be?

well yup.

persueing my childhood dream ba.

hee.

=p

wish me good luck k!!

phew~

damn long ever since i last blog.

anyone of u miss me?

yup i do miss all of u.

my crazy five girls.

my jies.

my poly gang.

nowadays i somehow only spend time and hang out with my work friends.

going out with them aft work can consider my everyday life already.

having dinner or supper.

chilling out.

chatting.

till late in the midnight.

dont give a damn wat time we are working the next day.

even though we only get to slp less den 4hrs almost everyday.

we oso dont care.

we already used to it liao.

haa.

anyway apit went ns liao.

so our outing aft work might not be as often as b4 i guess?

miss him.

as in miss his irritate-ness.

tats wat i told him b4 he going in.

poor ayu hafta miss him everyday.

well i still do meet up dolly and ken for a drink.

to relax myself.

not to think so much.

de-stress ba.

yup but not too much.

(:

miss the st james session with dolly.

coz jun's dad admited to hospital.

we all went to visit him and jun.

as when she called me she was crying over the phone till very jialat.

worried abt her.

when i say we all aft work go and see her.

she sae not need to be so trouble.

den she kena scold from me.

'friends trouble wat!!'

haa.

=p

but its true lah ah.

i really dunno how to put it in words.

hmm.

having someone to love you is great.

yup i believe everyones noes tat.

wat if at the same time more den one love you?

wat will the suituation be like?

y are they treating me so nice?

wat motives they got?

u see.

last week i got sore eyes.

my eyes got infection by contact lens.

so im not going to wear my lens for time being.

he (im) work overnight.

have not slp yet.

die die wana acc me see doctor when he get to noe tat my eyes go worst.

thanks im.

(:

and today i got sore throat.

i was talking on phone with customer and i cough till very jialat.

he (cheyenne) get someone to buy strepcells for me.

thanks cheyenne.

(:

to say the fact.

both of them claimed tat they like me.

but im's case is more jialat.

i got a feeling tat he like treating me as his gf.

i dont wish history will happen.

i told him sth.

he cried over the phone.

the way we contacting each other is lke under table de lor.

dont wana let ppl noe coz im sure there is ppl will gossip abt it.

i reallie dunno wat to do.

i think its better to hurt ppl rather den getting myself hurt.

but its reallie BAD to hurt ppl.

so how?

hais.

wat can i do?

and cheyenne's case is totally different.

he is like going round the whole store telling ppl.

he even call my workplace mother.

mother-in-law liao.

lols.

i still thinking y he ask me tat qns.

hmm well.

will continue on my next post.

FUCK!!!

NOW im just simply fucking damn freaking du lan!!!

i dunno y.

i seriously dont understand y.

i earn 1k per mth u can spend 1.5k per mth.

even if i work 25hrs per dae oso not enough for u to spend.

fine i noe ur medical fees is ex.

i noe with all the bills and stuffs.

i calculated and its not up to tat extent.

yet im only allowed to spend not even 200bucks of my pay.

u say i spend alot.

now u say.

who spend more?

pls lah.

stop it lah k.

dont make me go the evil ways.

hais.

anybody can tell me any ways to rob the bank without being caught?

MONEY can really make me freak off man.

for dunno watever reasons.

i was chosen for the filming.

i oso dunno who the the main characters.

the device?

the 3 children?

or me?

haa.

i oso nv see the results how is the filming.

heard tat it will appear on tv.

omg~

paiseh leh.

scary.

lol.

hais.

i dunno lah.

its difficult to live lah like this.

and its even more to live happily.

last sat night went clubbing with louise and friends at velvet dragon.

the ppl i saw there made me shocked.

yup i noe some of them.

but i just got no comments.

i really felt guilty and felt sorry.

saying sorry is seriously USELESS.

im really glad tat he's not angry with me.

(:

very long i nv work for so long hrs liao.

ytd i worked for 14hrs.

12pm to 2am.

for me to work so long hrs.

depend on who is working.

not everyone i will help de.

and oso depend on my mood too ba.

how i wish can work so long hrs everyday.

can earn much more money.

and i wont be bored and lonely too.

i believe wat i heard is true.

we just need one moment to fall in love.

but we need one life time to forget someone.

thanks for letting me cry out.

i might felt better everytime i cry it out.

but how many times i need to cry it out?

cry till im dehydrated?

cry till no more tears?

2 good friends can quarrel till whole dae dont talk to each other.

although the both of them always quarrel.

but is the first time i see them quarrel till so jia lat.

both are oso my good friends.

both oso have their own reasons.

i listened to the both of them.

who shall i side?

all i can say is.

being friends must oso respect each other decisions.

more and more work and tasks i hafta do and complete.

im suffocating.

who can help me?

i NEED a break.

i NEED a holiday.

i NEED to rest.

'xiu xi she wei le zhou geng zhang yuan de lu'

but is there anymore 'lu' for me to 'zhou'?

hmm.

another post.

to blog everyday is to let u all noe tat im still alive?

or i shld mia and let ppl look for me?

worry abt me?

ya.

but who will look for me or worry abt me in the first place?

hmm.

u might think im silly or rather im damn childish.

many many yrs back i kept on thinking.

if one day im sick seriously or met in an accident and admitted to hospital.

who will go and visit me?

and till now so many yrs aft.

this qns is always in my mind.

who is the one will be by my bed to acc me?

will there be big grps of my friends to surround my bed everyday?

imaging wat the suituation will be like.

hais.

they go out but nv ask me along.

seriously im alright with it.

he asked me y i nv join them.

i told him tat they nv ask me.

yupp.

wat else can i sae?

ohh ya.

suddenly i found so many ppl going for the graduation ceremony liao.

now beng leong and wee loon going too.

lols.

hmm.

yupp.

the loneliness is there.

i feel the loneliness.

but wat can i do?

hais~

shit!

wat can i say?

really sorry for wat i had done.

sorry for my actions.

wth~

y is she staying for another mth?!

we all are just suffering during her exist.

cant she just leave or rather 'disappear' asap?!

-_-

there are 2 heart broken girls.

and now u are having the power of love.

best wishes from me.

(:

y must everything turns out to be memories?

y cant it keep on existing and become reality instead?

back from my shopping spree.

got myself a skinny jeans.

hope i will look 'skinner' wearing it.

lol.

oso got myself a anna sui wallet.

yup.

finally got a wallet.

haa.

hmm.

gss coming very soon.

just see wat i will get ba.

=P

well.

i did not spree online anymore le.

no time to follow up.

late abit nick kena put on topic.

sians.

until now.

wat else can i say?

i just dont wana compare my life with others.

the more i compare.

the more i think life is meaningless.

just dont think tat u are the worst.

u are always better den someone.

den life wont be tat misarable le ba.

i guess?

hopefully lor.

but these kind of thinkings sometimes just cheating urself nia.

watever it is.

just think of the positive side.

the brighter view.

yup.

i had tried my very best to move on my life.

but i not yet recover.

not yet overcome.

ohh ya.

met up with candice ytd night aft our work.

we went cine for a movie.

den met john there.

john aka 'bookshop auntie's son'.

lol.

really find it funnie the way i rmb him.

yup great.

met up with another pri sch friend.

keep in touch~

(:

hmm.

got rejected by ntu.

so nus got not much hopes oso le ba.

just get into the working society earlier.

so can clear my debts earlier.

finally i found someone who wana go graduation ceremony liao.

from wat i noe.

jinlong bengleong weeloon not gg ba.

but now i found someone liao.

not anyone else but my AI REN~

lol.

i chose the purchase the graduation suit.

aft a LONG time of consideration.

haa.

hmm its reallie time to meet up my poly friends liao man.

ever since last day of fyp.

which is 16feb.

nv see each other liao.

boon is asking for a gathering.

jinlong is asking for gathering too.

but i think it will be 2 different gatherings ba.

boon jio de ppl cant click with jinlong jio de ppl.

jinlong jio de ppl oso cant click with boon jio the ppl.

but im like both side oso can de.

lol.

see how lah.

they got jio me den i go lah.

im really lazy to organise gathering liao man.

opps!

=x

really hope tat next sat's night out is on lor.

louise always jio me out ended up not on de.

i dunno abt this time lah.

just wait and see lor.

there's alot more for me to say.

but i just dunno how to put into words.

hais~

this morning woke up with my eyes swollen.

its a chance for me to get mc and escape form work.

but i chose to go work with my swollen eyes.

and tmr.

i can chose to take mc if i wan to.

coz we all already say tat we will go saloon together.

but still i chose to work n ps them the saloon session.

well.

wat else can i say abt me.

yup.

im a workholic.

bth~

today i saw a slim chance.

i hope is wat i wana get long ago.

but its better for me dont put so much hope yet.

if not i will get damn freaking disappointed.

somehow find myself abit useful.

i can talk to him when he is sad or rather demoralise.

i saw the whole situation.

i can understand how he feel.

if i were him.

i oso dunno wat to do.

if talk back sure got conflict.

if keep quiet ppl will crawl on top of his head.

hais.

wat to do?

hmm.

seriously i dunno wats up in ur mind.

but just wana tell u dont need to feel guilty.

or u dont feel it at all.

i reallie got no idea.

am i wrong if i say i miss you?

i just simply cant forget.

the places.

the shows.

the songs.

the talks.

the things.

the distance.

the time.

everything everything and everything.

i just cant forget.

have u?

today's slacking session turns out to be a 'crying' session.

not coz of me.

but coz of her.

but i ended up crying too.

just wana let myself feel better and oso to share her pain too.

although her pain is much much more den mine.

but my scar is there.

its hurting me too.

as wat i had told her and the rest.

i cant advise her to let go coz me myself still cant let go too.

i cant teach her to recover coz me myself have not recover yet.

all i can do is to hold her hands and tear together.

like wat she said.

wat we wants is to be loved.

to be cared.

to be concerned.

to be pampered.

to be hoaxed.

is tat very difficult?

well.

perhaps life is difficult ba.

secret is no longer secret anymore.

DONT ask me wat is it.

i tot i can hide is from everyone forever.

zhi shi bao bu zhu huo de.

now.

next.

tmr.

i dunno how to face her.

i dunno how to face the rest.

hais.

shld i say sorry?

but things had already happened.

no use saying sorry.

i really dunno wat to do.

end here?

move on?

hais.

y is my life getting more messy and messy?!

everything tat had happened really mess up my freaking life.

i hate my life.

i hate myself even more now~!!

sorry i just cant love myself anymore.

i dont wish to recall when is the day u started to be cold towards me.

coz if i do.

i will find myself more fool.

more dumb.

more idiot.

more stupid.

watever~!!

dont worry.

i did not hate u.

and i WONT hate u.

for now and forever.

yup.

if u think tat to leave me u will lead a more happier life.

wat else can i say?

yup.

everyone say tat i had already tried my best.

yes.

i had tried my very best.

so wat?~

i still get back nothing.

u owe me something.

i hope i will get it.

one told me is no longer impt get it or not.

but i dont care.

i just wana get it.

one day one told me tat 'life is not abt love'

next day one told me tat 'life is not abt study'

well~

so who can tell me 'life is abt wat'?

im really lost.

well.

yup.

for so much things that had happened.

i admit and declared that.

im naive.

im childish.

im innocent.

im brainless.

im fool.

in short and simple.

im stupid.

more and more meet ups with u gers.

yup its damn great.

our endless chit chat.

our endless topics.

our endless **.

u noe.

i noe.

we all noe ah.

lol.

=D

kbox coming up~

still no reply.

still no letter.

den how am i gg to plan my fututre?

although all the while im not the kind of ppl will plan my future de.

but now.

im really like lost.

dunno wth im doing.

if i really got rejected by both uni.

i told myself give me 2 more mths.

see my current job will give me any better offer or not.

if not i got better offer liao.

met samuel recently.

he came to store last week or so ba.

i just simple shouted his name when we open my party storeroom door.

lol.

im just happy and shocked to see him lah.

miss him?

wahaha.

damn long ever since i last saw him.

think since end of last yr ba.

he got job offer asked me wana go join him or not.

can pay me up till 2.5k per mth.

hmm really lah.

i got more den enough reasons for me to leave my current job.

hais.

i just dont bear to leave.

5yrs leh.

is just like letting go of a 5yrs relationship.

ya.

im just a emo and loyal ppl.

hais.

wat will i be?

think i will decide and made my decision by august ba.

this world and this society is cruel.

i nice others nicely.

ppl treated me like shit.

'THANKS'

i just got a feeling tat she will backstab me in one way or another.

hais.

or im over sensative again.

dunno lah.

so is either she gone or i disappear.

u all have to believe me this time round.

trust me.

there is NO true friends at work.

colleagues will only always be colleagues.

nth more.

colleagues cant be best friends.

best friends better not become colleagues.

the world is small too.

one of ken's friend, fauzie, is my trumpet junior~!

the worst thing is.

i forgot who is he.

haa.

he rmb when there's me sure there's yun.

when there's yun sure there's me.

lol.

he rmb yuwei.

he still rmb yuwei can blast very loud.

he rmb ian.

he rmb gary.

he rmb gary as spiky hair or amani ba.

he even rmb chong meng.

basically he rmb the whole trumpet section.

but i just cannt rmb him.

im gg to look for the speech day photos.

he told he he's there.

haa.

and oso!

he oso rmb all my jies lor.

power lah.

when i name june yuxiu iris luvina.

he can rmb all the names.

even the alumni like soefian zhaohao he oso noe.

and oso one more thing.

he oso tot mdm wu and mr wee is husband and wife.

lol.

hmm wah~

our band talk..

thinking back.

yup.

miss those days.

miss band.

miss playing trumpet.

haa.

=D

life is a matter of live on or death.

if i choose to live on.

i will encounter lots of situation.

i can be sad.

i can be happy.

i can be hurt.

i can be loved.

if i choose death.

i dont even need to feel sad.

i dont even need to get hurt.

isn't it better?

i still cant accept it.

unless till the day comes.

i fell again.

blue blacks can be cured aft a few days.

but the pain i felt this time round.

it reallie hurts me alot.

who to cure my pain?

how to cure my pain?

wat to cure my pain?

how long will it take to cure my pain?

im really really REALLY bu fu qi.

y am i always ended up hurt by guys?

have i did anything wrong for u all to treat me in tat way?

god is so unfair.

life is so unfair.

perhaps nth is fair in the earth ba.

ppl asked me to accept wat comes along my life.

sorry this time i really cant accept it.

unless im given a reasonable reason.

if not i wont accept the fact.

ppl told me tat tasting pain and sorrow is parts and parcels of life.

well everything is oso parts and parcels of life.

hmm even die is oso parts and parcels of life.

y not i die earlier?

so tat i dont need to go thru so much pain and sorrow.

i was told to love myself.

no i cant do tat.

i simply hate myself more.

i dont know how to be strong.

im just not a strong girl.

if being a strong girl have to go thru alot.

i will rather stay as a 'not a strong girl'.

i really dont wana go thru so much.

i just wana a simple life.